10 Ways You Know It’s Monday

1. You get tired of waiting in bed for your husband to bring you your coffee, and then realize he’s not going to because he’s at work.

2. You realize after your 8 year old eats his cereal that he got the bowl out of the dishwasher… which wasn’t actually run the night before.

3. Having off-loaded 3 out of 4 kids at a friend’s house, you look forward to a quiet afternoon free from squabbling and fistfights… until your remaining child somehow manages to punch herself in the face.

4. Figuring you have a good 45 minutes before your first music student arrives, you sit down and relax for a few minutes before tackling the dog-hair-ridden floor and disgusting guest bathroom, only to be interrupted by a knock at the door, at which point you remember you changed the time of the first lesson.

5. Your parental control software blocks your access to your own website.

6. You go to make a cup of tea to calm your nerves, but discover the tea-kettle is empty. You go to refill the kettle from the pitcher of Arrowhead water, only to discover the pitcher is empty. You go to fill the pitcher from the giant, slippery, 5-gallon bottle of Arrowhead water, congratulating yourself on not dropping it, only to realize after it starts pouring that you hadn’t quite lined it up with the pitcher and that you are, in actuality, simply making a rapidly growing puddle of water on the kitchen floor.

7. You realize that the keys you misplaced a week ago aren’t under the dresser, where you had assumed they fell but never got around to picking up, and that you now have no idea where they are or when the last time was that you had them.

8. You finally get your tea made, go to put sugar in it, and discover that the sugar bowl is empty. You go to refill the sugar bowl and discover that the sugar canister is also empty. You pull out potatoes, onions and other bottom-shelf pantry necessities and contort yourself in order to get sugar out of the giant, “emergency” container of sugar which is stored at the back, only to stand up and notice a new bag of sugar sitting in a prominent place on the eye-level pantry shelf.

9. You try to write a list of ten items but can only come up with 9.

10. You go to post your lame 9-item “10 Reasons” list on your blog, only to discover that you have lost all connection to the Internet.

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Categories: Around Town | 1 Comment

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One thought on “10 Ways You Know It’s Monday

  1. At times like these all the best words are the ones best left unsaid. Happy Monday!

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